Uurghhg... A step Backwards!

So.. I ate clean all week. I ate exactly what my dietitian told me to do. Which was the same thing, every single day. I had eggs for breakfast, chicken and black beans for lunch, apple and chicken for a snack, Chicken and sweet potato for dinner.  Lots of really healthy foods. And guess what happened.

I lost weight for the first few days. Then I gained weight. SO LAME!!!

I ended my week at 210.4. And I wanted to scream. And I wanted to give up.

But I started thinking about all of the reasons I want to lose weight. Here are some of the highlights.

• I want to lose weight so I can wear all of the clothing I own.
• I want to lose weight so I can look cute in the clothing the manikins wear.
• I want to lose weight so I can run faster. 
• I want to lose weight for my husband. I want him to be blown away by me. (He loves me and is the greatest hubby... but I want to blow his mind... Know what I mean??) 
• I want to lose weight to prove to every one that told me I would never do it, that I can. And I also want to tell them to shove it.
• I want to lose weight so I will love myself more and feel beautiful. 
• I want to lose weight so that I can wear shorts when I run. (Right now those shorts crawl right up into my crotch... You girls with thighs that touch, know what I am talking about) 
• I want to lose weight to Prove to myself that I can do it. 

After I thought of these reasons for a while, I decided that I was going to do this my way. I was going to eat healthy, be a beast in the gym and lose weight on my own.

No dietitian. No trainer. No one pushing me. All by my self. Because really.. losing weight is a journey you must do on your own.  No one can lose weight for you. 

I want to use the picture above as my before picture. I want to take a picture on Halloween of myself and compare them. And I WILL see a difference.

I have the same goal for this week. I want to get down to 204.8.

Back in the Saddle Again

Why Hello. Yes.. I am alive. Since I last wrote there has been much that has happened.

First and formost, I got sick of working really hard and not seeing any results. So I hired a trainer.

But that did not feel right. They kept telling me things to do that I knew were not good for my body.

So I hired a nutritionist. And this was awesome. He had me eat a very strict diet for a week while we were testing my glucose levels. We found some crazy things. My glucose levels were always around 80. No matter what I ate. They never really spiked and they never really dropped. We tried a lot of different food combinations, and exercise programs. However, I start to gain weight. Like crazy. I went from 190 or so to 209.4!  Depressing!!!

So my nutritionist sent me to an endocrinologist. We tested my insulin, cortisol, testosterone and estrogen levels, and my thyroid. We found out that my insulin was perfect, so I am not insulin resistant. My cortisol was perfect so I am not stressed out all the time. My estrogen was perfect, so I am not poly cystic. My thyroid is perfect. However... my testosterone has about twice as high as it should be. Which is causing problems for my body.

Because Testosterone is what gives you energy and I was no longer going to have testosterone, my energy levels were going to be terrible for the next few weeks. My body would recover and would start to find energy the normal way, however it was going to be a terrible two weeks... or so.

Here I am running a half Marathon. I rocked it!

It was recommended that I not start taking Spiro until after I ran the half marathon I had coming up on June 15th, and after I went on a church camping trip with a few hundred girls from June 17th through the 21st. . I needed my energy. 

It was my Birthday during Camp. Super Fun!

Once I got done running and got girls camp over with, I started taking the Spiro. The date was June 24th and they were not kidding. I felt like poop.  I was sleepy and tired and yucky all the time. You know when you have a head ache because you didn't get enough sleep... I had that headache for three weeks straight.  I drank energy drinks like they were going out of style. And they did nothing. I make mistakes at work because I could not focus. It was terrible. I would go running and I was unable to run more than a mile. When I pushed myself, I would throw up or almost pass out. I have never felt so week and lazy in my life. I would come home from work, lay on the couch and read. Then go to bed. Get up and do it all over again.

Its been 3 weeks since I started on death drug and I am finally starting to feel better. I am going to start training for my next half marathon today and I HOPE I am able to run and get with the program. And not pass out or barf. 

I am also starting a clean eating regiment today as well. Chicken, black beans, corn eggs... that sort of things.

And I want to start being accountable again. It was hard to keep myself motivated when a personal trainer, nutritionist and endocrinologist were all messing with me.  I am hoping with the combination of having my hormones level out, running and eating clean I can start seeing some weight come off.  I want to get back into One-derland so bad it hurts! 

So.. my goals for this week. See the scale go from 209.4 to 204.8. See me run 3 miles without stopping. And eat clean.