Finding Motivation

It's been a long time since I have blogged. It's been a long time since I have lost weight. In fact, I keep gaining weight. I could go on and on about how busy I have been, and how hard it is to find the time... But let's get serious.

• I have no kids.
• I live with my Mother in Law and she grocery shops and cooks for me. (Seriously.. people would kill to have their own shopper and cook.. FOR FREE!)
• I work full time at an awesome company where I do not have a strict schedule. If I get to work before 9 am, I am good to go. 
• I have great friends that work out. 
• I have a supportive husband. 
• I have a fridge at my desk at work, so I can pack a lunch.
• I have a gym membership, and the gym is less than a mile from my house.
• I have no excuse as to why I cannot make this happen. 

I am a grown ass woman.. what is my problem. Why is this so hard for me?? Why am I not losing weight? I am living the dream...

Do I not want this enough? Am I too lazy? What the crap...  Nope and nope. I want this bad! I want to be able to run and not be floppy. I want to have a tight little figure, and make my hubby drool when I get dressed up. (Well, more drooling than he already does.. really.. he is fantastic.) I work hard. I run half marathons. I run almost daily. I am a beast at work. I get crap done. So what is the problem?

After lots of internal debate and arguing I figured out that I am driven by external sources. I need someone asking me what I weigh week after week. I need someone holding me accountable. I need to prove myself. Essentially, I need a weight loss boss. Someone to check in on me, and just see how I am doing. With that little bit of encouragement, I thrive. I kick butt.

How am I going to do that? Find a buddy.. Tried that.. crapped out after a week or two. Ask the Hubby?  Sure.. worked fine. Until it Aunt Flow came.. then I turned into a hormonal beast, and I bit his head off. Then cried. So.. that was a no go.

I finally landed on Weight Watchers. Random 3rd party that will encourage me and check in on me. Someone that I can work for. Prove that I am awesome, and that I can work hard. And I REALLY like the platform. I love that fruits and veggies are zero points. (I refuse to feel food guilt for eating a banana. Yes.. I know it's super high in sugar... but it's A BANANA!!! I want a freakin medal for the fact that I chose that over the bag of Oreos!) I like that I can eat what ever I want as long as I have the points. I really eat all fruit for breakfast (0 point breakfast.. hell yeah!) A small low point lunch, and then I have desert with dinner. Every day. And I do not feel guilty.

Last week was my first week.. And I ate it up. I loved the class. I loved the location. I loved the staff. And I loved that it motivated me. Got me thinking about things that I would not have thought about on my own. (They talked about gratitude, and being happy with what you have first. LOVED IT)

I also decided to buy a fitness tracker so I can track all of my awesome working out. I really like that it has a large enough section for lifting, and a spot for cardio. It also has a spot to put in what I ate. I use the tiny box above the nutrition to put in how many WW points I ate that day. And for balance and flexibility, I use that for mental healthy. I read books, or meditate, or pray. And I try to do that every day.  The book is called: The Ultimate Workout Log by Suzanne Schlosberg. And I love it.

Here is a pic:

I plan on blogging a few times a week.. and just keeping everyone up to date. Ever Friday I want to post my weight and talk about my game plan for the next week.

This week I figured I would just shock everyone by actually posting...   And last but not least.. Blogs are boring unless you post some pictures. So.. here I am running a 10K. (But I got lost, and actually only ran 5 miles... Muh..) The dude is my awesome co-worker Eric.

Peace out!