Tuesday, November 13, 2012
5 pounds vs 100 pounds...
I have some super skinny and beautiful friends. See....
They are skinny, and gorgeous! And they are great!!!
I love these girls!! And when we get together, we talk about things that girls talk about. Kids, babies, and of course weight.
When a girl who weighs 140 pounds tells a 200 pound woman about how fat she feels and how she just wants to lose the last 10 pounds, you want to punch a puppy! Or them....
Listening to them go off on how ugly they were, and how fat they were, made me feel like SHIT. If they are fat.. then what was I? A beached whale? A Cow? A fat ass? Tub-o-lard? Should I just go die of diabetes now?? Waddle out of the room??
Its depressing. Its sad. I hate it. How can you not compare yourself to them when they keep throwing it in your face. I would just about kill someone to look like them. And they are ungrateful and keep whining about it!!!
This is something that really messed with me. For a long time. In fact, I refused to hang out with this group of friends for a while. I was unable to control my emotions and I refused to be depressed because of a girls night out.
Then I started going to the gym with a friend who is bigger than me. And as we are running, I talked about how I wished I could run faster for a longer amount of time. And how I wished I could lift more weights. And she got the same look in her eyes.
There I was... Being the person that I hated. Thing is, if I had never felt that before.. I would not have been able to figure out why she was upset. She would kill to be able to run as far and as fast as me. And I know that her first goal weight is what I weigh right now. I felt like such a schmuck!
Then it CLICKED!!!!! It does not matter if you have 100 pounds, 10 Pounds, 50 Pounds, or 20 Pounds to lose, it feels the same! We all have the same emotions. We all get frustrated. We all have the fear and anxiety about not being able to do it.
We are all in this together. I could hang out with my friends and not leave depressed. I would go to the gym and be a little more careful about what I said. And I could share my concern for my weight and my encouragement! -- Don't get me wrong.. I still refuse to go swimming with them. he he
It was a big moment for me, and I thought I would share.