My meeting with him last night was almost 4 hours long. He taught me what to eat and when to eat and how to eat it. He taught me how the body works and why it does that. He taught me so many things, I thought my head was going to explode.
The best thing I learned last night is that I am scared. I am scared to lose weight. To actually try really hard to lose weight. What happens if I try really hard, and I fail. What happens if I eat foods that I don't really like, and I work out super hard and I stay fat. That is SCARY! I do not want to be they way I am now. However, its safe. As I was crying he grabbed my hand and let me know that he does not fail. He knows what to do and when to do it. I just have to listen to him and then do what he tells me. That easy and that hard. And that, I can do.
He also let me know that I am using the gym as a crutch. I go to the gym because I feel like I am doing something and if I don't go to the gym, I feel like a failure. He asked me what I was going to do if I got injured and was not able to go to the gym. After I told him that I would panic, he let me know that it was ok. I did not need to go twice every day. I would be fine.
A little bit of me feels like he jinxed me. Because this morning at 5:30 AM, I injured myself. I was walking out to my jeep to meet a friend and go for a run. As I stepped off of my porch I stepped on a pine cone and twisted my ankle causing me to fall. Hard. I started to panic. I cannot hurt myself, then I will not be able to run.... Then I remembered what I learned the night before. Immediately I felt calm and relaxed and I knew it was going to be ok. I now had the knowledge that I needed to fix this.
I am still hoping and praying that its just a strained muscle and not a broken bone. I do know that it is not a sprained ankle. All of the pain is in my foot.
I hope you guys all have a great night, and a better morning tomorrow than I had today. When I have more time, I will let you all know more about what the trainer said.
|Here is my foot all wrapped up with ice.|
|And here is the bruise/cut on the shin on my other leg. I really did land hard.|